Day 37: Nasal Turbinates and Congestion

Nasal congestion is extremely common when you undergo jaw surgery, especially with maxillary impaction due to the top jaw being moved upwards - cutting through your nasal bone and into your nasal sinuses. If you watch the maxillary impaction video below, you'll see what I mean!

Anyway for me personally, because of my impaction movement of 6mm, I had to have turbinates and soft tissue removed, which I was aware of before surgery, and again this is very common. Alot of people have been asking me what these are and where they are located. Turbinates, also called nasal concha are to support the 'air-controlling' and 'air

filtering' functions of your nose when you're breathing in an out. If you flare your nostrils and shine a torch up there you may be able to see them. It's removal comes with it's own risks, which I won't go into, but your surgeon will - this is something that you need to weigh up yourself. For me personally, the risks associated with turbinate removal during my maxillary impaction never bothered me, and it's not something I've worried about since.

Since surgery I've always been congested; this is extremely common due to the removal of turbinates and cutting into your nasal sinuses in general, and healing is generally paired with inflammation and increased mucus production. I'm not allowed to blow my nose as of yet due to the risk of doing some damage up there, and the risk of bleeding. However, as of yesterday my nose has started to bleed. Urgh! It hasn't done this since the day of surgery! It's only coming out of one nostril, and it's very fresh blood mixed with the mucus. In all honesty I have been cleaning up there with a cotton bud, and from what I can see I've irritated a little part of my nose and made it abit sore. It doesn't help that my hayfever has started and things are starting to get inflamed. Anyway, for safety reasons, when I see my surgeon on Wednesday, I will get him to check it out!

Day 36: Another perspective (Best friends)

So I had alot of emails and a few comments following James's post, saying what a good idea it was, as we never really see jaw surgery from somebody elses view other than as ourselves going through it. So I handed this post over to my best friend Vicky - in honesty her post made me cry, she talks about her fears and nerves watching me go through jaw surgery! (I'm also going to ask Dani and my parents to write one at some point!)

Pre-Op
When we think about what we want out of life, most people think of their career path and having a family. For Emma though, she's had something completely unique on her list. She wanted Jaw Surgery and after a long wait, she’s had it!

The first time I met Emma I noticed something different about her... I thought she was a twin! (No, really I did). Well I got that wrong, but I came to learn that there was something different about Emma.
During college me and Emma became extremely close friends. Although she's a 'little worrier', she’s always been the strongest member of our little duo. Emma has always had a huge amount of independence. I would never have thought this back at 16 when Emma spent most of her days in a dressing gown and didn't know how to turn the washing machine on! But she's always been independent with regards to what she wants out of life. I found it amazing when Emma was set on having Jaw Surgery.

I don't think throughout college and the start of Uni it ever really sunk in. I remember in second year of college, we were asked to introduce each other In front of the class. Being best friends, we had a lot to say about one another, and one of them on my list was that Emma had a 'deformed jaw'. I remember everyone being confused and shocked but I don't think anyone including me saw anything wrong with Emma's Jaw. Admittedly, I've always been extremely jealous of Emma because of how absolutely gorgeous she is! It made me feel even more jealous when I realised how gorgeous she is inside. Back then, major surgery didn't seem real to me.

I remember a month before her surgery and she told me shed set a date and changed her surgeon. I have no idea why but I didn't take it in. I think because we'd been waiting so long for this day, when it came it just felt like they were going to say 'no Emma, you're not ready yet'.
I think that month went unbelievably fast! The most upsetting time for me at this stage was not being able to see her before surgery. Since she told me that she had a date, I hadn’t seen her for a while and I felt terrible! I wanted her to know I was there for her and I was thinking about her, but texts and emails just weren't the same as the hug I was dying to give her.

Week of the Surgery
The week of her surgery, I think adrenaline pumped in. I wasn't excited...I was worried. I started to have loads of dreams about her going into theatre. I’ve never liked the thought of surgery for anyone. I've always thought what If something goes wrong. I think because I hadn't said good luck and I love you to her face, I kept worrying thinking if anything happens will I ever get to say bye.

The day of surgery, went extremely slowly. I woke up at a ridiculous time in the morning after another weird dream and went into Uni early to do work. The whole of the Uni was completely silent and I remember sitting in the library being so fidgety. At this point I have to thank James. He was absolutely amazing at keeping me up-to-date with everything that was going on!

Post-Op

After the surgery, I was so relieved that she had come home and everything had gone according to plan. James kept me up to speed with everything, which was brilliant and I was so happy she was doing well. She's so strong! For me though, that first week was horrible. The nerves had set in and I realised that the next time I see my Emma, she will look different. I think the first time she showed me a photograph, I was stunned. But then I thought calm down this was taken when she had just come out of surgery, she's bound to look different.

I think it really really hit me when she uploaded a video on her blog. Within the first 20 seconds of viewing it, I broke down in tears. She just looked so pale and so ill, and it just felt like her sparkle had gone! That week and when more photos came, I was getting more and more nervous about seeing her. To take my mind off the nerves, I started to focus on how I could show her I love her. I thought I'd do her a little box with bits in to keep her going so she could relax and pamper herself. I think I felt like I had to compensate for not being there beforehand.

I think the worst thing about that week was when I tried to explain to people who didn't know Emma why I was nervous. No one seemed to understand why I was petrified about seeing her for the first time. I couldn't get to sleep all week because I felt so guilty for feeling nervous about seeing my best friend. I know she hadn't changed inside but I couldn't explain why the surgery had made me so anxious to see her and no one understood. I think it felt even more worse because I felt like I couldn't talk to Emma about it. I didn't want her to be worried about me and I didn’t want her to think I was being a rubbish friend. It got so bad at one point that I was really close to giving her some crap excuse to say I can't come and see you. Even thinking of saying that made me feel sick. I just felt like such an awful friend!

The night before I went to see her, I actually started to get excited. I really really missed her and I wanted to show her my box of goodies; I kind of dragged Jordan along with me. I thought if I start to get upset I want someone I can hide my face behind.

When I did see her, I couldn't look at her straight in the face. I put the box of stuff on her knee, and when I was pointing to things, I realised my hand was shaking and so I just thought I'd sit down quickly before she noticed. I decided to tell her a story of what had happened to Jordan the day before to make her laugh. And it worked! And even though half of her face didn't move I could see the sparkle in her eyes returning.

I’d never once say that Emma had done the wrong thing. It's what she wanted and I was always beside her every step of the way. She looks even more gorgeous than she ever did before and I feel so lucky to have such a strong best friend and an amazingly gorgeous one too. I still feel silly for feeling and reacting the way I did. I know Emma herself probably won’t be aware of everything I felt through that first week until she’s read this. I'm just glad that the hard part is over with now and she's on the road to full recovery. She's been amazing! I love her 

Day 35: 5 week update

Pain in Jaw: 1/10
Wow, the weeks are flying by!

I've been abit pants on the picture front lately and I do apologise; I do have them I just don't have any front view before pictures (hence why only side ones have gone up) from my other laptop around, so as soon as I get them i'll back track and update the daily photos.

Recovery is going well, i'm learning to talk and use my mouth again slowly which is nice, the swelling has gone down alot on one side compared to the other; it's really comical when I talk or smile because the less-swollen side goes up more! I can't wait for 0 swelling so that I can see a 'finished result smile' rather than one of a working progress!

I'm still in two bands, one either side which limit my movements quite alot. I've said this before but bands are used to guide your teeth into their new position, I definitely feel as though this has improved since the first couple of days, when I could bite together my brain got a little overexcited I think and was like 'Wow, lets clench down hard' and it didn't really know when to actually STOP applying clenching pressure. Since then, my bite has just come together comfortably with no added pressure etc... My jaw spasms seem to have started again, but again, I think this is my jaw getting abit frustrated of being kept in one place, I feel as though it's telling me it's okay and it wants to start moving!

Pain has been under control for the past week or so, I very rarely take pain meds anymore, sometimes I feel as though my jaw is getting tired when I talk too much at once but this is to be expected. The only discomfort I have really is the cotton ball feeling around my lips; but this is just a combo of numbness, swelling and stitches, and a burning pain I get frequently in my chin.

The only places i'm totally numb now are my gums, half of my bottom lip and an area of my chin, everywhere else is starting to return. It's not fully back yet but atleast it's not numb!

Eating is getting better, I can still only open my mouth a fingers width wide so eating is abit of a messy process but I can generally mash most things up with my tounge. Meats I find difficult so I avoid them. I'm still on strict no chew diet but i'm getting real bad urges to chew just lately, especially when food gathers around my back molars; I keep having dreams that i've forgotten I'm not allowed to chew and i've bit and chewed away on something anyway - I doubt when I start it will be as easy as it is in my dreams though :P

Congestion has been pretty bad again today but I think that's because my hayfever is starting. I'm going to check when I can blow my nose with my surgeon next week, when I get the all clear i'm going to buy a big box of tissues and go crazy!

Day 34: Another perspective (Boyfriends)

So out of all the jaw surgery blogs i've seen around, we all write things from our own perspective. I thought i'd hand over this post to James for the night in hope maybe i'll appreciate things more from his perspective, watching me undergo jaw surgery! (I might even ask my parents and friends to write their's at some point too!).

Pre-Op:
I first met Emma around 9 years ago but to be honest I never noticed anything wrong with her face or jaw or smile. We lost contact and remet again in September 2012 when we started our relationship, and still I never noticed, I thought she looked beautiful as she was. When she told me about her operation initially I was abit freaked out, I wasn't expecting it and I wondered why she was putting herself through this. After this I took an interest and did my own research and brushed up on things so that I fully understood what she was going through and what I had to do to help. The day she got her date for her op was an awful day, I started to worry loads about her, about us, how she was going to cope, all sorts really. After this moment I was fine, I still had my worries but as the days grew closer and she got excited I was happy for her as it's something she has always wanted.

Hospital Stay:
Leaving Emma at hospital on the day of her op was another awful day, we didn't really prepare to leave each other so soon so we all got abit upset. The 6 hours she was down theatre went on forever, it felt as though she was down there for weeks and time dragged so much. I called the hospital a few times during the afternoon but I just kept being told she was still in theatre. When we got to the hospital and I saw Emma for the first time post-op I was relieved and I was happy because I had her back, I knew she was safe and she looked stunning, even better than before. I was amazed by the results and how much different she looked and this is when I think I first realised what was up with her jaw before her op. Soon after Em's parents and I got there she started being sick and got really poorly. There wasn't much I could do other than hold her sick bowl, comfort her and wipe the sick away (Scoring points - a nurse said what a great boyfriend I was :P). The one thing annoyed me was knowing that she was ill and I couldn't do anything for her.

Over the next few days while she was in hospital Emma got abit depressed, she really wanted to come home but wasn't allowed, and then when her surgeon added her 3rd band it was the icing on the cake for her and she got really upset because she couldn't eat. Day 1 she had a reaction to her antibiotics and her pain and drooling started on day 2 which really frustrated her, she was really tired and abit fed up. Luckily we got to take her home after 3 days in hospital which I was really happy about and so was she.

Post-Op Recovery:
Recovery during the first 2 weeks for her was pretty tiring, Emma slept like a baby for the first couple of nights as she was so tired, but after this she got really uncomfy trying to sleep. Food wise everything had to be liquidised and trying to get foods and drink into her through a syringe was hard for us all. Nothing would fit down the syringe and she didn't like any of the stuff we were giving her (usually soup). When I ate my food Emma always asked me to sit with her and I hated eating around her, I felt really guilty that she couldn't have any of it, and her mum was making real nice food.
Her pain got bad after the first couple of days and she was needing pain meds around the clock. Seeing her in pain was distressing, especially when it peaked.  Swelling and bruising also got worse around day 4, to be honest this didn't bother me, I was just scared people would have thought i'd been beating her up or something. Emma also regretted the surgery in the first couple of days because she was so uncomfy and in so much pain, she cried a few times and she wished it was all over but I reassured her it would be alright and it was.

Thankfully things have improved since surgery and shes nearly 5 weeks post-op. I feel relieved that it's coming to an end after how long shes waited for it, it's not hanging over her anymore, so she can plan her life and we can plan our future without having to worry about 'upcoming jaw surgery.'

In general shes done brilliantly, i'm really impressed by how well shes coped with it all, without really moaning or complaining, shes just got on with it. She looks more beautiful each day and i'm really really proud of everything shes achieved in the past few weeks.

James

Day 32: A huge big thank you's

Pain in Jaw: 2/10
I thought it was time that I thanked those extra special people that have helped me through recovery so far (and hopefully you're reading this!), It may be abit premature as I haven't technically hit the 'fully recovered' stage yet, but I don't think i've ever said any propper thank you's to anybody yet, so here they are. (You will have to excuse the fact that all pictures are pre-op!)

So firstly to the main guys themselves; my orthodontist and my surgeon. You've each debated which of you have had the bigger role in my care, but truth is, you've both had your own jobs which have been important to give me my desired outcome. My time with you over the past 4 years plus has shown me what amazing people you all are. Even though I haven't known my surgeon as long, your attention to detail and care is beyond amazing. You've become simply more than my ortho and surgeon, you're friends. You laugh with me, you joke with me, and you even bully me sometimes, but you've also put me at ease, looked after me and cared for me more than I ever expected. You've completely changed my life, and my outlook on it, and I can never thank you enough.

To my fellow jaw surgery undergoers (especially if you've had a blog which I've stalked) thank you for showing me how to cope with this surgery, for getting edible food into me when I ran out of ideas, and for your endless compliments, comforting and reassurance. It's nice to know that there is somebody not far away who has had surgery, and has made it past the first week of hell!

My parents - for standing by me and taking me to every single orthodontist appointment since the beginning of forever, for never pushing me to have this surgery but instead simply supporting me, letting the decision be my own. I know that you thought I was beautiful enough, and I know how hard it was for you to watch me go through with this - but i'm glad that you supported me during it, and loved me regardless. Even though your daughter now has a completely new face. Not to mention putting up with my endless moaning through the braces, surgery wait and surgery itself. Without you I would never have done so well, or recovered so quickly. Until surgery, I never realised how much I took you for granted, but now I fully appreciate you and everything you've ever done for me, and I love you so much.

To my best friends Vicky and Dani, and my girls Sarah, Annabel and Katie: You've all encouraged me in individual ways which have made my recovery smooth, since i've known each of you this surgery has always been in the light and it's never changed your opinion of me or influenced how you acted around me. Post-op you looked after me, complimented me, protected and comforted me when all I really wanted to do was moan, you reminded me what it was like to laugh and be social again, and that there really is a light at the end and the fact that it's getting brighter everyday.

To probably the most important person ever, my boyfriend James. He wrote me a letter whilst I was in hospital, which said "moments in our lives make or break couples, and this has made us so much stronger," and it has. To have this sort of pressure early on in a relationship is testing for anybody, people who have survived years haven't been through something as challenging as this - but the fact that you've been there for me during every second of my recovery days I am truly thankful for, especially when we've had to give up alot as a relationship in general. They don't lie when they say in sickness and in health! You've picked me up, loved me and taught me how to smile. You've wiped away my tears, and my fair share of sick, drool and snot. You comforted me during the bad days, and made me laugh during the good. You also taught me how to love my new face, including loving it yourself, and as you said "through the next part of your journey i'll be by your side" you can be, as I will be yours, holding your hand all the way.

Day 31: Jaw exercise trial

Pain in Jaw: 4/10
So i'm getting to the point that I really don't know what to blog about everyday; but I still want to do it because so many people are sending me emails telling me that a 'daily life of a jaw surgery undergoer' is great to read - especially when they're going through the same process, and i'm glad that I'm helping people in some way.

Although I haven't been told to start jaw exercises yet, for some reason I really wanted to see how much I could move my jaw. When I saw my surgeon the other week he told me to move my bottom jaw forward. In my head I was moving it forward, my jaw however wasn't going nowhere. My surgeon eventually said; "You can't do it can you? Don't worry!"

Anyway. Today I was attempting to move my bottom jaw side to side. (Some jaw surgery forums recommend starting to do this only a few days post-op, I however do NOT!) Again, In my head I was moving it just fine, but to watch, it was barely moving at all.  But then, my jaw decides to spasm at the most awkward moment it could have and resulted in so much pain it was unreal. So much so I had to have my pain meds all over again, and I've been doing pretty well without them.

Note to self, and to everyone else: Do not start jaw exercises until your surgeon gives you the go ahead!

On a plus note, I've finally started to officially drink from a cup, and eat with a fork. I still can't quite get the big spoon in use just get, but using a fork means I can put food that little bit deeper in my mouth - resulting in much less mess! Extremely baby steps, but a great milestone!

Day 30: Post-op depression

Pain in Jaw: 1/10

So today I decided to embrace normality and went out for an entire day, even eating a pancake in a public place! I made every attempt to not think of my jaw once (although I did sit sideways on the bus and said to James that I could do this now and show it off because my side profile is fixed!) I've decided that from now, i'm not going to live as if i'm dead during my recovery stages.

One thing I wanted to talk about on this post was depression after jaw surgery. It's extremely common and majority of us have experienced it at some point - even if it was just a low moment when we've shared a few tears or felt abit fed up. I've had plenty, jaw surgery is challenging. You become unsociable and down generally because you can't talk very well, you can't eat normal foods, you're in pain and you know this is going to stay like this for a few weeks.



I know the first few days after jaw surgery I was in bits constantly, I was petrified of every little thing that could cause damage to my new jaw, meaning i'd have to go through the whole process again. Looking back, I wish I could have told myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and to not worry so much but I can't, it's just something you have to experience. I'm writing this not to scare anybody from it, but in hope that somebody who is in that first week of recovery believes me when I say things do actually get better.

In summary, jaw surgery is a long process. Apparently you're not supposed to worry about your appearance until 6 months - I worry about it everyday, I worry that the swelling has stopped, I moan about it, and i'm sure a lot of other people do too. But as James said yesterday "The mona lisa wasn't painted in a day, and that's a work of art." Similarly, jaw surgery is your personal work of art, and you're not going to recover in a day. Jaw surgery is a blessing in disguise, even if we can't see it at the time, and I keep saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel - because there really is, and i'm sure many people who are way past recovery can vouch for this!

Day 29: Sleeping normally

Pain in Jaw: 2/10

So last night I gave sleeping in my bed for the first time since surgery ago. Because of the amount of work I've had done in my nose, and to minimise swelling my surgeon has told me to sleep upright. Apparently sleeping flat also can increase risks of congestion due to nasal work, and your ability to breathe properly. Around the 2 week mark my surgeon still advised me to sleep elevated, and reduce myself slowly, and I did this. I let my recliner chair recline back ever so slightly.

Me when I was happy in bed, before
I got out and back on my recliner!

Just the other day when I saw my surgeon he told me that it was ok to go ahead and sleep as normal, aslong as I was still slightly elevated. (He advised me just to reduce this gradually and to play it by ear as to how my body coped with it). My main concern that being a side sleeper i'd do damage to my jaw, he gave me his reassuring smile and told me it would be fine.

 I got my mum to tuck me into bed, as soon as I got in it I hated it. She encouraged me to stay to try and beat this psychological fear, we moved pillows, tried the v-pillow and generally just tried different things to make myself comfy. When I was finally comfy I was happy, and I got her to snap a photo of this 'milestone.' As soon as she left the room and I actually attempted to sleep it all went downhill, I spent 45 minutes or so googling 'sleeping on your side after jaw surgery' and another 10 minutes pleading with my mum to let me get back on my fort of a recliner chair because my chin was hurting. (My chin is the only thing that is hurting me now, apart from general discomfort. I don't know If it's because i'm expecting it to hurt, or because It was more so tucked into my chest).

You'd think the surgeons go ahead would be enough, but no. Can I sleep in a bed? Can I hell. Not only do I feel like I've got to rehabilitate myself in the talking, eating and moving my mouth sense, i'm now petrified of my bed!

Today I posted a question on the jaw surgery forums about this fear, hopefully people will give me some tips. If anybody else can, please go ahead! For now I just keep trying myself in bed for an hour at a time so hopefully I can adjust to it, and i'm going to enjoy my trusty recliner before somebody takes it from me!

Day 28: 4 weeks!

Pain in Jaw: 1/10

So i've decided i'm going to do pictures every other day, then hopefully I will see more of a change compared to everyday. (Decided just to put side ones on today as i'm still swollen around the front and can't really smile properly yet, you can't notice the changes as much!)

 I apologise that this is abit of a long post, but I tried to write things 'from the heart' and I probably waffled abit too much!

So this time 4 weeks ago, I'd just got on the table. I was probably about an hour into my operation now, and this 4 week recovery mark seemed like a very distant dream! 4 weeks ago, I was a long long way from recovery and the dreaded 'week of hell' (as I like to refer to it as, as the first week was definitely brutally awful) was going to approach me in another 5 hours time, as I was challenged physically and mentally.

One thing i've been wanting to talk about for a while was my car journey home from the hospital, a couple of days after my operation. I think i've only spoke about this with Dani and James but it was a very surreal moment; excuse me if this is incredibly soppy and cliché and you don't see the resemblance at all, but to me it was a moment that has stuck with me, and probably will for quite a while.

I don't know if you've heard of the Bastille song 'pompeii' (it's below if you haven't) - anyway, this song came on as I got in the car. Imagine it now, James drove around from where my theatres were, i'd finally had my operation, away from my ward where I had been nursed after my operation, up the hospital estate before passing the outpatients department where most of my visits had been for the past couple of years - where my orthodontist lives, and then on we went to home. As this happened, these lyrics played...

"But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothings changed at all,

And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you've been here before,

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?"

I did exactly that. I closed my eyes and finally embraced the fact that after years and years of waiting, I'd finally had my operation, that I was passing the place where it all started, or where 'i'd been before' and I was going home. I opened my eyes and then reality hit me, I was in alot of pain, restricted, uncomfortable, I was physically drained, weak, tired, I could hardly move and I thought this is gonna be a tough 6 weeks - I couldn't be an optimist about it, and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you see the resemblance to the song? Surreal moment, will stay with me forever. But now i'm recovering well. I'm finally the 'optimist' I'm talking and it's getting clearer by the day, the pain is reducing, the swelling is slowly going down, and the feeling in my face is slowly returning. I'm smiling more and more everyday, and everybody is incredibly pleased with my results. I'm still not allowed to chew, but atleast it's not strict liquid diet, I can eat soft foods finally, including chocolate buttons and cookie dough. Life is starting to get back to normal, I'm half way to recovery, and that's blissful.

Day 27: X-rays and surgeon visit

Pain in Jaw: 4/10 (Surgeon has been messing about with my jaw)

So yesterday I was having my usual generic conversation with James; 'Am I still swollen? Where am I swollen? Does it look good? Am I going to look like this forever?' To which he replied, yes you are, you're swollen everywhere and realistically it's probably going to take a while to go, and no you won't look like that forever, your face is changing all the time, but you look amazing.'

I'm finding it so hard to 'like' my new face. I mean, I like it, but I miss my old face? I long for my old face, I feel like that old face has died and is never coming back again. Well lets be honest, it is never coming back again, and I feel like i've lost something really important. (Well it was important, it was my face!) This is Emma version 2.0 - I'm still swollen, I'm amazed by the results but my face is changing everyday, meaning everyday I have to get used to a new face, and I'm finding that incredibly hard. I love my side profile now, but I think I don't like it from the front yet, because i'm used to gummy-ness and I don't feel like i'm showing enough teeth, when in reality, I am showing the perfect amount. I'm just not used to it. I think this is combined with my lack of patience to see the no-swollen, full on functioning, smiley, new me.

James said the best thing ever to me yesterday which I keep reminding myself of...

"Your old face was 21 years old. You've grown up with that face for the past 21 years. Your new face, is only 4 weeks old. You've only gotten used to it for 4 weeks, it's going to take time."

...when you think of it, he actually has a really good point.

Today I saw my surgeon and orthodontist again. Bless them, I love how excited they always get to see me and to see their handiwork really. They're both still really impressed with the results and said that in the week from when they last saw me, my bite has already improved, i've got to continue wearing the bands as they are for the next couple of weeks. I also had x-rays done (they're below), there's no signs of infection around the screws or my incision sites (touch wood) and my surgeon said the pain i'm experiencing in my chin is probably the nerves firing up again. I also got them to debate against each other, they both complimented each other what an amazing job each other had done in terms of getting my teeth ready for surgery AND the surgery itself - until I reminded them that it was a team effort and they'd both done an amazing job!

My surgeon doesn't want me chewing or using my jaw too much until the 8 week mark. I think he's old school as I always classed recovery as the 6-week mark; I nearly fell of my chair when he said 8 weeks, but atleast i'm halfway there now and the worst part is definitely over. Swelling has still got abit to go, and the nerves could take around 90 days to wake up fully. He also gave me the all clear to finally sleep in a bed, however i've still got to be slightly elevated. I'm abit fearful of rolling onto my side but he said that it would be ok, I guess if I don't do it now i'll always be afraid of sleeping.

Anyway; here are my movements
Impaction: 6mm
Mandibular advancement with genioplasty: 5mm (He did describe how he moved my jaw and chin to avoid moving my top jaw forwards but I didn't really understand what he was saying - other than it was a 5mm movement).

Before is on the right, after is on the left.

Day 25 & 26: Back to Normality

Pain in Jaw: 2/10
So i'm combining both days into 1 post. Yesterday was my first day back at university; thankfully it was only a 2 hour lecture and it didn't last the two hours as my level of concentration was pretty low, but it was good to be back!

People responded to my face in a very positive way; even people that I wasn't necessarily close to took the time to come over and said that the changes were amazing, which then followed with your usual lot questions. But it got me talking and communicating moreso than usual which was nice!

I'm slowly getting used to my face. I still think it looks very square and i'm not sure if thats the swelling or what. I hope it shapes up a little more. I know that after jaw surgery you shouldn't worry about your appearance until atleast 6 months; but it's hard not to!
I also went out on a Bar Crawl last night with my cohort dressed as smurfs, in all fairness it was a really good night out and i'm glad I went - I was pretty petrified of it being too busy and people knocking me but once I was in there I didn't mind so much. I left at 1am when it got abit too busy. Thankfully nobody physically knocked my jaw although I had two extremely close encounters. One girl through her arm out and nearly punched me in my face (literally she was an inch away), and the second 'close encounter' was when I was leaving a club. Some guy grabbed my hand and pulled me to him, said something to me and then went to full on grab my face. Oh my god did alarm bells start to ring! Luckily though I caught his hand just as he skimmed my face before he could do much damage and just said 'not my face' - my friend shot him an evil look and he looked abit confused but he got the picture and let go.. and then I went home. On the way home funnily enough Dani asked me if I wanted some chips from the kebab shop - boy would I have loved some! :P

Day 24: The move back home

Pain in Jaw: 2/10
So today I packed up my things at my parents house, and headed back down to my own place. Tomorrow is the first day back at uni, and although i'm really excited to see the girls and to get back to normality - i'm absolutely dreading it! I know that during lecture (thankfully only 2 hours long), i'm going to start dribbling, or get a surge of pain - or worse, hunger! (How do you deal with THAT out of the comforts of your home)!

I'm also heading out to a club tomorrow night, dressed as a smurf... Not the best  idea i've had in a while and certainly wouldn't be approved in the eyes of my surgeon; however it's a cohort thing - the last ever thing we do together  as a whole cohort before we qualify. I'm not drinking/wearing heals or risking anything happening to my face in anyway shape or form - i'm just going to show my face and that's all.

Today started as the worst day ever, I woke up with a really bad sore throat. As I do every morning, as I have done since surgery (It usually wakes me in the night), normally I have a drink and something to eat and it goes. Today was different, it was painful and it was one side. I opened my mouth as far as I could to have a look and I noticed a load of ulcers on the one side; at this point i'd had enough. I felt crap last night anyway, and today I felt worse. I had a few tears, along with a few 'Sick of being in pain...sick of not eating...sick of being uncomfortable 24/7' - your usual moans when you've just had jaw surgery, had some pain meds and thankfully the pain became manageable and it turned into a pretty decent day.

One thing i've done today is actually locate 4 screws in my top jaw; two either side of my nose, and two just abit further from my nose. They're not painful to touch, they just send weird sensations up my face! Now just to locate the bottom jaw and chin!

Day 23: A normal day

Pain in Jaw: 3/10

So today was the first bit of 'decent' sun we've had here in England and my plan was to go and feed some ducks and to walk around the lake. As soon as I stepped outside however, I became incredibly cold despite it being absolutely boiling outside, I got a raging headache, became tired and weak and I just felt like pants. Ruining all my plans as per jaw surgery! Instead I stayed tucked up on the sofa under a duvet, i'm going to watch Britains got talent and eat my chocolate in very small pieces.

As you can see by my daily mugshot also, my smile is gradually improving. Still swollen and numb which makes it difficult to smile but no more gummy-ness is amazing, and it's progress from 3 weeks ago when I looked miserable as ever! I can't wait to watch it develop even more over the next couple of weeks.

Pain has settled down again, although i'm having to take pain medication during the day again now. I also attempted to put make up on this evening (as i'm going out on Monday and thought I better try it before then). It failed, big style. My face is too numb and too sore to go around blending in all that stuff just yet, and because of my increase in dead skin flakey-ness, it just pealed off. It looked disgusting.

Another disgusting thing I did just recently was google and YouTube the jaw surgery and genio procedure, and I don't mean before and after pictures, I mean the actual procedure. Usually i'm well into all this blood and gore and find it quite interesting, however I had to close the page, it knocked me abit sicky and I don't want to be reminded of whats actually happened in my face merely 3 weeks-ish ago! My mums exact words were 'No wonder you're in discomfort Emma, Look at that, that just doesn't heal and go away overnight' - Fair point well made!

Day 22: Spasms, pain and relapse

Pain in Jaw: 4/10
So over the past few days i've been getting atleast one jaw spasm a day, today they're getting more frequent and happen on both sides of my jaw now. They're not painful in anyway, they're just so uncomfortable! It's like nails on a chalkboard when it happens, it really makes my hairs stand on edge and sends shivers through my body! Unfortunately jaw spasms can't be prevented and are an inevitable part of recovery, and occur most often when you're banded. Apparently though, they gradually get less around week 4/5.

Another thing that has been happening, is my pain is jumping all over the place. For the first 2 weeks I was taking pain meds around the clock, into my 3rd week I managed to reduce them to evenings and night times, now all of a sudden the pain has jumped again, and it's all in the chin. Either side of my chin and right across where I imagine my surgeon did my genio - i'm not sure if this level of pain again is normal, or it's normal to suddenly develop pain - it may be a case of i'm feeling it more now my nerves are waking up. I'm just preying it's not something more severe, like infection (It's almost a burning and pulsating pain which is what worries me, my ortho advised me to get it checked out by my surgeon if it doesn't decrease in the next couple of days - If you've had genioplasty, PLEASE give me some insight!)

I also found a guys page today who had similar surgery to myself; and unfortunately for him his bottom jaw relapsed immediately after surgery meaning he had to have a second surgery. Following this, I did some research and I found this;

• Changes of relapse is higher and common in patients who have been 'wired' together, as this method is unstable, relapse usually occurs because of some muscle pull - the reasoning behind why most surgeons today prefer a rigid fixation of plates and screws. (When I changed surgeons and he told me he wouldn't wire me together, instead he would use screws, I was against it, however now i'm pretty glad as I couldn't have coped being completely wired together for 6 weeks!).
• Distance of advancement, rotation of jaws and bone quality all influence the risk of relapse. Some surgeons argue that an advancement of 7-10mm is at higher risk of relapse.

Fingers crossed, my new best friends Mr. Plates and Mr. Screws hold my jaw into their new position, as I really don't want future jaw surgery! I guess we're never truly out of the woods!

Day 21: Three weeks, another video

Pain in Jaw: 2/10
Three weeks, where is the time going? I class full 'eating' recovery and majority of the swelling going down at at 6 weeks. So i'm half way there. Keep going, keep going...

I love the past tense right now. How nice is it to write this...

I'm having jaw surgery

I've HAD jaw surgery

or

I have a class 2 malocclusion

I HAD a class 2 malocclusion

When I was waiting for my surgery date, all those many months ago, today felt like a distant dream. I still can't believe it has finally happened, this 'big' thing that was putting a massive stopper on my life has been and gone. It's quite amazing.

However, (there is always a however) ; one of my fellow jaw-surgery goers is having a hard time right now and I really do feel her pain. Jaw surgery isn't your friend - it's going to challenge you in every way possible, whether that's with the foods you eat, the pains you feel, or just general self feelings - you're low on energy constantly, dizzy, congested and it drains you dry in every aspect of your life. The only 'friend' you have with jaw surgery is the FINAL results; and that's a while away yet. Anyways, visit her blog and cheer her up simplebeautifuldisaster.blogspot.co.uk !

Enough talking, here is another video. Incase you still can't understand me, I summed it up below...

• Orthodontic Visit: Hurt like hell. Still have two bands either side however they're tighter providing more resistance. He also took out some of my surgical hooks I didn't need, replaced my bottom wire with a softer one and repaired one of my brackets. He said that the results are looking great, and teeth positioning is 'spot on!'
• Swelling: Is going away slowly, it's mainly in the areas of my cheeks, my nose and eitherside of my mouth. There is also a little bit under my chin.
• Numbness: Still completely numb in the areas where my swelling is worst; my cheeks and my chin. I can feel half of my bottom lip and the majority of my top lip.
• Pain: I don't take pain meds anymore during the day, just at night when the pain peaks.
• Diet: Still soft, strictly no chewing. However can eat quite a few foods and just 'mash up' using my tongue  Only difficulty is trying to fit a spoon and food into a very small gap! (Can only open my mouth 1 fingers width.)
• General Self: Feeling very weak and getting incredibly dizzy, but all is good!

Day 20: A growing smile

Pain in Jaw: 4/10 6/10 (Updated)
*I will add usual daily photo of me when my sister decides to give me my camera back*

So my smile is slowly starting to show improvement. I can slowly start to
pull those facial muscles up into a 'smile' even though it's not perfect, it's getting there. The swelling around my nose makes it look fatter when I smile, and the fact that i'm more swollen on one side than the other is making it look abit lop-sided. But no more gummy-ness already! I can't wait until I can show you a full beaming picture, of purely just teeth!

Before Surgery: Me and Bruno!

Attempting to Smile

Update: Pain has gone up slightly alot! It's only in one part of my face, on the side of my chin. I've got a feeling it's near a screw but I daren't have a good feel yet. (I can't wait until I get x-rays so I can see where these things actually are). The pain started following a weird spasm of my jaw - I think I lost myself abit and tried to move it normally but the pain quickly reminded me. It's a new pain, but I can't really describe it. I'm just hoping that it's healing pains rather than something infection related, or something wrong. (I don't even know what th e signs of infection around the screws are so if anybody can clarify - send them over! Must check this out with surgeon at some point!) Dizzy-ness and weakness has also come back and people keep telling me that I look incredibly pale; i'm a far way off from 100% just yet.

I've also noticed how fragile the inside of my mouth is just lately. It's probably due to the feeling is starting to return, but cold drinks feel like ice in my mouth, and hot drinks - they're hot! Having to resort to incredibly milky tea!

On another note, I went to my sisters house today. I've avoided it until now as she has a really hyper boxer dog and I was abit scared he'd headbutt me or something. He was actually incredibly calm and I think he still recognized me which is good, he just couldn't understand me when I said his name, but obviously came bounding over when somebody else called him! I can't wait until the clear talking is back.

Jaw surgery is definitely a long process: healing and recovering in general, learning to talk, opening your mouth AND chewing again. I'm not looking forward to the last one, at all!

Day 19: Really Fine

Pain in Jaw: 2/10

I don't know if anybody has ever subscribed to 'Notes from the Universe' but I got one today that really picked me up...

"Wouldn't it be nice to know, and I do mean REALLY, REALLY know, that everything - absolutely everything - is going to turn out just fine?

Really fine. Outrageously so."

...and it is, no matter what stage of your 'jaw journey' you're on right now - there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and everything really will turn out just fine!

Day 18: A regular update

Pain in Jaw: 1/10

So there is nothing new to report, other than half of my bottom lip has suddenly become numb again. I'm pretty sure that as the days progress numbness is supposed to lessen - but not in this case! But hey, we all know how much of a long process recovery from jaw surgery is, so i'm not getting too puzzled by it just yet.

I headed into uni today and I actually managed a good few solid hours of work. I also got to see one of my girls Annabel, it was really lovely to see her and to catch up with her! (She even understood my muffled talking which is pretty good considering at the start of university she couldn't understand my accent, without added jaw surgery ontop of that :P) So I must be doing something right!

Pain is becoming less and less during the day which is good, it's just night times that it peaks and I usually have to take some meds to calm it down, although it did ache alot during today but that's probably because my increase of talking.

Slowly starting to learn to smile properly again. At the moment it looks abit too clown like and scary, and it makes my nose look fatter because of the swelling, but it's a working progress.

Swelling is slowly coming down. I mean, it's come down a hell of alot since a couple of days post-op but the last bits are taking forever, but again, slow process. The swelling is mainly in my cheeks and to the side of my nose, my lips and either side of my mouth - if you didn't know me you'd just think I had a fatter face. If i'm completely honest, through excitement to see the final results i'm becoming incredibly impatient. :P

Day 17: An attractive picture

Pain in Jaw: 1/10

Let me paint you an attractive picture:
My face is peeling due to my refusal to wash and 'exfoliate' all that dead skin of it properly. I class the numb areas as a 'no-go zone.' If it's numb, i'm not touching it at all because I don't know how hard i'll be pressing, or in this case, scrubbing!

I daren't put make up on yet either,
because putting it on also means taking it off, and taking it off means extra scrubbing.

My lips are incredibly dry 99.9% of the time, vaseline has become my new best friend, ontop of the occasional dribble that I have (unless i'm brushing my teeth, in which case I dribble alot). Ontop of this i'm having an extremely congested day - my throat is full of flem and mucus and my nose is totally blocked. Breathing is abit harsh and noisy today, but I guess i've been lucky with congestion up until now!

Last night I got the courage to finally shine a torch into my mouth to see what was going on in there. I checked out my stitches and my surgical sites in real light, and it's safe to say that I don't like looking at them. They remind me that I actually had this surgery, and what I actually went through - including the fact that peeled back most of my lips! I don't like this thought, moving on...

For some strange unknown reason, i'm happy during the day yet incredibly down and depressed towards the night. My mood really dips; I've heard of post-op depression after this sort of operation but this is strange. So far i've put my dipping mood down to the association of night time = bed time = sleeping upright = no sleep at all. However, all blessings sent last night as I realised that my big upright recliner chair actually leans back slightly, so I had a better nights sleep finally (When I say better I mean waking up every 4 hours instead of every 2 - but it's a working progress!).

On a plus note, i've finally started to drink from a plastic cup. Originally I used an osteotomy bottle (it's basically a plastic bottle with a huge thin straw on the end, and if you squeeze it liquids come out, saves attempting to suck which is impossible right now). I go back to uni in a weeks time, and I figured that I need to get fluids into me during this time somehow, so now I know I can rely on my trusty plastic beaker, even if I do spill half of it down my chin. But hey, that's one of the many perks of jaw surgery!

Day 16: Cotton ball cheeks

Pain in Jaw: 2/10

So i've come to the conclusion, after much much thinking, that my lips/talking/moving my mouth feels EXACTLY like having a whole wad of cotton balls shoved in your mouth (especially around your lips and cheeks), making everything difficult!

But then I think of Kanye West, who managed to record his song "Through the Wire" while his jaws were wired together only 2 weeks after reconstructive surgery to his fractured jaws following a car accident. How he managed to do this is beyond me, as I can't even talk properly when i'm just banded closed. Fair play to you!

I also sneezed the first time today since surgery. I was so petrified that I was going to pop a blood vessel and my nose was going to start oozing blood instantly but thankfully it didn't (I sneezed out of my mouth rather than down my nose). Still not allowed to blow my nose though (Preying my hayfever holds off until I can!)