Day 12: Worry and Protection

Pain in Jaw: 2/10

Before I'd had this surgery, I never expected myself to worry so much about my post-op progress, but lately that's all I seem to be doing. I guess it's normal after waiting so long for something, and then undergoing such big surgery. What i'm trying to say is, I guess nobody prepares you for the different feelings you experience  or pains you encounter, or even when your jaw makes a cracking noise every once in a while.

Today it's the position of my jaw. Day 1 after surgery I had an extra band put into my mouth, as I couldn't voluntarily bite my teeth together; my brain didn't know where my new bite was, so my surgeon added an extra band which took over and bit down for me, meaning my teeth are constantly closed now. I've been encouraged to open and close my mouth which I do, but I'm petrified the moment i open my mouth, my jaw will think 'Screw you, I'm going back to my old bite!' I know this is impossible, but the fear is still there!

Jelly - Syringe style, best thing ever

This moves nicely onto the level of protection I have over my face now, again I guess this is normal. I remember when I'd just had my surgery I didn't dare even to bend my face down, incase my jaw slid and moved position - it's strange what you think isn't it? The car rides I had were awful, I felt like my face would dislodge over every pot-hole, or speed bump.

One thing I still can't do is hug people normally - just because i'm petrified of people coming near my face, especially when they're about to throw their arms around my neck and probably shoulder me in my jaw! Alarm bells definitely start to ring when somebodys hand comes near my face, I daren't even touch my face myself.

My new cutie - Played with this little fellow all day!

I guess this is when the reassurance of your surgeons come in. I feel relaxed when somebody has told me recently that it's all okay, and it's all still looking good. I see my surgeon again tomorrow and I can't wait to hear this from him! I dread the day he discharges me, I think I might have to have his number on speed-dial!

On a happier note, I had some jelly again in a syringe today and it was the best thing ever! It's the only thing i've had since surgery which is actually the same consistency and texture that it's supposed to be. I also became the owner of a very cute fox puppet from my friends Vicky and Jordan, ironic as my dad keeps on telling me to become a ventriloquist! He is the cutest thing ever and has given us all plenty of smiles and giggles! Yawning has started again, I was amazed at how your body knows it can't do these things (along with sneezing) so doesn't bother; but today it seems to have forgotten as i've done nothing but, I find it so comical as i'm still banded together, It just seems to yawn out of my nose instead!