So i've decided i'm going to do pictures every other day, then hopefully I will see more of a change compared to everyday. (Decided just to put side ones on today as i'm still swollen around the front and can't really smile properly yet, you can't notice the changes as much!)
I apologise that this is abit of a long post, but I tried to write things 'from the heart' and I probably waffled abit too much!
So this time 4 weeks ago, I'd just got on the table. I was probably about an hour into my operation now, and this 4 week recovery mark seemed like a very distant dream! 4 weeks ago, I was a long long way from recovery and the dreaded 'week of hell' (as I like to refer to it as, as the first week was definitely brutally awful) was going to approach me in another 5 hours time, as I was challenged physically and mentally.
One thing i've been wanting to talk about for a while was my car journey home from the hospital, a couple of days after my operation. I think i've only spoke about this with Dani and James but it was a very surreal moment; excuse me if this is incredibly soppy and cliché and you don't see the resemblance at all, but to me it was a moment that has stuck with me, and probably will for quite a while.
I don't know if you've heard of the Bastille song 'pompeii' (it's below if you haven't) - anyway, this song came on as I got in the car. Imagine it now, James drove around from where my theatres were, i'd finally had my operation, away from my ward where I had been nursed after my operation, up the hospital estate before passing the outpatients department where most of my visits had been for the past couple of years - where my orthodontist lives, and then on we went to home. As this happened, these lyrics played...
"But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothings changed at all,
And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you've been here before,
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?"
I did exactly that. I closed my eyes and finally embraced the fact that after years and years of waiting, I'd finally had my operation, that I was passing the place where it all started, or where 'i'd been before' and I was going home. I opened my eyes and then reality hit me, I was in alot of pain, restricted, uncomfortable, I was physically drained, weak, tired, I could hardly move and I thought this is gonna be a tough 6 weeks - I couldn't be an optimist about it, and I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you see the resemblance to the song? Surreal moment, will stay with me forever. But now i'm recovering well. I'm finally the 'optimist' I'm talking and it's getting clearer by the day, the pain is reducing, the swelling is slowly going down, and the feeling in my face is slowly returning. I'm smiling more and more everyday, and everybody is incredibly pleased with my results. I'm still not allowed to chew, but atleast it's not strict liquid diet, I can eat soft foods finally, including chocolate buttons and cookie dough. Life is starting to get back to normal, I'm half way to recovery, and that's blissful.