Saturday, 27 April 2013

Day 30: Post-op depression

Pain in Jaw: 1/10

So today I decided to embrace normality and went out for an entire day, even eating a pancake in a public place! I made every attempt to not think of my jaw once (although I did sit sideways on the bus and said to James that I could do this now and show it off because my side profile is fixed!) I've decided that from now, i'm not going to live as if i'm dead during my recovery stages.

One thing I wanted to talk about on this post was depression after jaw surgery. It's extremely common and majority of us have experienced it at some point - even if it was just a low moment when we've shared a few tears or felt abit fed up. I've had plenty, jaw surgery is challenging. You become unsociable and down generally because you can't talk very well, you can't eat normal foods, you're in pain and you know this is going to stay like this for a few weeks.



I know the first few days after jaw surgery I was in bits constantly, I was petrified of every little thing that could cause damage to my new jaw, meaning i'd have to go through the whole process again. Looking back, I wish I could have told myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and to not worry so much but I can't, it's just something you have to experience. I'm writing this not to scare anybody from it, but in hope that somebody who is in that first week of recovery believes me when I say things do actually get better.

In summary, jaw surgery is a long process. Apparently you're not supposed to worry about your appearance until 6 months - I worry about it everyday, I worry that the swelling has stopped, I moan about it, and i'm sure a lot of other people do too. But as James said yesterday "The mona lisa wasn't painted in a day, and that's a work of art." Similarly, jaw surgery is your personal work of art, and you're not going to recover in a day. Jaw surgery is a blessing in disguise, even if we can't see it at the time, and I keep saying that there is a light at the end of the tunnel - because there really is, and i'm sure many people who are way past recovery can vouch for this!

9 comments:

  1. Miss Emma you look beautiful. Thank you for sharing your story. I don't think anyone but those of us who have done this know just how difficult of a situation it is. There are so many aspects to the recovery, physical, phycological, emotional, and relational. Thank you again it is very helpful to read other peoples stories. God Bless, Heather

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    1. Thank you Heather! I appreciate it! Hope recovery has treated you nicely! x

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  2. You said it chick some days I wonder am I fully healed or what but I have also heard 6-8mths then yr to be100% recovered. You look beautiful!! I wonder is all my swelling gone also. Lol patience is the key.

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  3. Hello! miss Emma,Thank you so much for sharing your story. It is big help for us especially for me having jaw and ear pain it gives me more power how to overcome will,again thank you so much!

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  4. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am a week out from jaw surgery and having a bit of a rough time emotionally. It helps so much to know that it's normal and there are brighter days ahead, even if it's hard to imagine them now.

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  5. Very encouraging. Thanks for sharing your experience. I'm on day 13 after lower jaw surgery. Going through a bit of depression already. It's been quite an emotional life-changing experience.

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  6. hi, i have been reading you blog over and over. thanks you for posting it. I has upper jaw surgery to remove gummy smile and chin moved forward a week ago and I’m freaking out. I look like a completely different person. my nose is changed, not for the bette, its like its been pushed up and out and my nostrils are flared and my face looks all squashed up. my chin looks weird, like a bump. I’m so depressed. I want to die. I talked to my surgeon yesterday who said i was just being negative and its just swelling but i can tell its more than that. when I look t you pics from one week you look great. you don't have a bump for a chin or a wried nose or squashed up face, your not even buried as i am. it seems looking at other peoples swelling, it looks like swelling but they still look the same just swollen. my face, chin and nose has changed. I don’t know what to do. i feel I this will ruin my life. I simply will not be able to deal with looking like this. Did you ever feel like this? I cant believe i did this and now I’m stuck recovering and hugely regretful. and It not just me who is noticing it. my mum, and sister who are tho only ones I’ve let see me say i look so different to. I told them to be honest and they said its not for the better but they are convincing themselves its just swelling too. and i will look better in time. but i can't see that. even when the swelling goes. i look completely different and that not going to change. Can i get it reversed? I'm so upset.

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    1. Hi Jawsurgery, did things get better for you? I feel the exact same way. I'm really depressed and embarrassed to be seen by anyone. Last time I went out, I wore a hospital mask to hide anything below my eyes.

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    2. I just got my jaw surgery done in January and i completely know how you are feeling jawsurgery. I found myself crying today and i didn't know why. I have heard that its get better,that there us a light at the end of the tunnel,i just feel thats a looooooooonnnnnngggggg tunnel,but the only thing i can say is im trying to just take it one day at a time because i don't know about no tunnel and i tend to like to see the light ,but if i make through another night i check that off as an accomplishment. I do feel a lot better knowing that i wasn't going nuts with my thoughts of the nose being squashed up and my butt looking chin. Im just going to pray that the final days when WE look back we will be happy with the outcome.

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